Trucks Like They Used To Build ‘Em
By Eric Peters, Automotive Columnist
Trucks have become frou-frou.
Most of them are useless for work and can’t be driven off-road. You just don’t do that with a $40,000 Lariat or whatever. They might be capable of it, but you don’t want to scratch the thing. And while underneath all that fluffery, the 4×4 system might actually be functional, it is usually gimped by easily ripped, hugely expensive plastic “fascias” (modern-speak for what used to be bumpers) that sit too low to the ground, or at the wrong angle, insufficient clearance, inadequate tires and overall fragility.
We’ve become so enamored of technology for its own sake that we’re too god-damned lazy to engage the 4WD ourselves — or more to the point, to bother learning when it’s appropriate to engage the 4WD. Hence the proliferation of “automatic” 4WD that does it for you. Of course, the driver of such a vehicle probably has no need for 4WD to begin with. The closest he comes to off-roading is when he drives onto a grass field at the local high school to watch his kids play soccer.
But he likes to have that “4WD” badge on his tailgate. It’s the modern equivalent of the toothless muscle cars of the late ’70s — which garishly touted their toughness even as they became ever more emasculated.
We used to call them “Disco Machines.”
What should we call all these latter-day, poseur-mobile 4WDs?
I haven’t seen a truck with manual-locking hubs in years. Remember manual hubs? That was the real deal. When 4WD was called for, you stopped, got out and — by hand! — turned each hub to “lock,” in turn, then got back in and — manually! — pulled the shift lever into 4WD.
A PITAS?
Not to someone who actually uses 4WD — and knows what it’s for. (Hint: one rarely needs 4WD on a paved road; 4WD Low almost never.)
And unlike automatic/electric locking hubs, manual locking hubs are virtually foolproof (when they’re engaged, they’re engaged; you are in 4WD… with automatic/electric systems, sometimes, you’re not), bulletproof (they rarely fail) and when they do fail, fixing them is simple. With automatic/electric hubs, nothing is ever simple. Or inexpensive.
A truck with manual locking hubs and no overteched flim-flamery can be serviceable (meaning, not just capable of being fixed but cost-effective to keep running) for 20 or even 30 years. A $40,000 XLT Eddie Bauer Edition Harley Stepside Super Lariat will be reliable just as long as the warranty lasts. At 8 or 10 years, watch out. Things will start to go wrong. And get expensive.
As Sarah Palin might say, You Betcha!
If there’s a silver lining to the economic collapse of the post-Chimp Era, it will be a return to sanity – and functionality. There are signs of this already. Toyota, for example, has announced a no-frills version of its Tundra pick-up http://pressroom.toyota.com/Releases…T2008122320750 will be offered come 2010. Nix the power-activated BS; keep the price down. Build the thing so it can work — and last. A novel idea.
What does a truck need, after all? Let’s consider the essentials:
* Sturdy frame — hopefully, a boxed, full-length, heavy-gauge steel frame — onto which the body is bolted. It should be thick and rugged enough so that when the body rots through its mounts, it can still sit on the frame for another couple of years before it’s time for the “Farm Use Only” tags.
* A suspension built to be tough and bulletproof and simple and easy to fix. Solid axle rear — no IRS, please. Leafs, coils, stamped steel control arms, maybe some girder-like anti-sway bars. That’s pretty much it, eh? (Stop it already with the hydraulically assisted, computer controlled four-wheel-steering, auto-adjusting suspension and similar BS.)
* Tough engines — ideally, a cast iron block, pushrod V-8 or six. These engines may not be as “sophisticated as overhead cam designs, but they are proven (100 years of development work behind them) and almost unbreakable designs that are also much cheaper to build, have far fewer parts, take up less space and are far simpler/less costly to maintain.
* A real 4WD system — one designed for work, and to be worked by those who know how to work it. Porsche doesn’t pussify 911s so the Dweezils out there can drive them. Neither should companies that make trucks. They didn’t use to. They can again.
* Cab, bed — that’s about it. Offer AC (sometimes, this is a gotta-have) and an automatic transmission, too. But how ’bout nixing the rest? Especially air bags, traction control and all the idiot-proofing that is riving up the cost, complexity — and weight and expense — of new vehicles? Bring back real, bolt-on metal bumpers that can take a hit. Or if they get bent a little, who cares?
Such a truck — free of the cost-padding, hassle-adding BS — could be built and offered for sale at probably one-third less the cost of an otherwise equivalent modern truck with all the kudzu they’ve been plastering on the past 10-15 years or so.
Wanna bet it would sell?
I know I’d be lined up. My ’98 Nissan’s one of the last of the old-school pick-ups that’s built, pretty much, according to the outline above. Yes, it has air bags and ABS — but otherwise, it makes the cut. Manual locking hubs, 5-speed stick. No power windows or power BS of any kind. But they don’t make it anymore (Nissan up-sized the Frontier circa 2005 and in the process, upped the electronics and idiot-proofing and “convenience” features).
Here’s to hoping the industry reverses course – and makes trucks like they used to make ‘em once more.
Comments?
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My favorite was my ’81 Toyota SR-5 5 speed long bed. It got 25MPG in real use, had A/C until it died. I had to replace the transmission twice in 327,000 miles, not surprising when I typically doubled its rated load in lumber or gravel. Sadly, at age 14 its body and frame rusted out at the same time and it was relegated to parts car. It was cramped inside and the frame was too light for what I demanded of it, but it never complained. It had carpet (Yuk!) but was otherwise utilitarian.
Give us an all-metal, slab sided real man’s work truck with built in storage available, rubber floor matts and smooth vinyl seats, four-banger engine with along enough bed to actually haul something. To hell with the family cab and fancy plastic interior. It would sell like hotcakes but the girly-men who run Detroit won’t hear of it.
To Fleet Admiral Autobahn
I really like cars such as VW, Land Rover, and BMW. I just don’t think you can really use a Audi Suv off road because of its low profile street tires.
Eric Peters should look at a Ford truck. They have manual locking hubs. One rarely needs 4WD on a dry, paved road. 4WD sure comes in handy when there’s several inches of snow on the road.
The auto companies already sell trucks free of cost padding. They are called “work trucks”.
Charging people $2,000 for their license like Germany, you mean? Most people who go over there don’t qualify for a license until they pass a test as only a few US states have reciprocity.
Oh, and Porsche does offer AWD, along with ESP (Mercedes invention).
I don’t think you would know a real truck if you fell over it. You talk about your piece of sh*t Nissan ‘truck’. When was the last time you looked at a U.S. built Ford F 250 or larger truck???? You have to look at the front hubs [that would be the ones below the engine] now look close and you will see manual hubs there. Now look further back and see a real frame. Under the hood can be a several engine choices. Yes 2 different ohc gas engines or a pushrod diesel any of which would tear that Nissan half pint to peices.
Hay you couldnt be more right. what happen to me this morring proves it . raining here lightly comeing around the lop to get on the free way again someone in frount doing 30 and the trucks cars are going 70 at us theres a opening he goes on and thentrys to speed up I give it the gas so to be at lest 45 onto the free way and hit a bad oilly spot 2 door 95 turns in a spin going into trafic stier right now sideway reading to hit under bridge the wall turn left going back turn right now going off the road backwards and a big suburben comeing stright at me slide it up the hill backwards and stop and wall away guy stops to see if I m ok nice right we shake heads I m sure the new trucks would just roll into trafic or like my brother 2005 truck went across into trafic and allmost over the gard rail into the river truck was toldal out thank angels for watching over me and that race track class I had years ago we went on wet payment had a great teacher too well all drive safe ya maybe the next oil road tested I m keeping my tahoe now !!! 10 to 12 years thanks the man upstears still crashes 4 th one in years I ve walked or drive away from californa here is just nuts drives on the phone texing eating makeup driveing right threw the stop lights have a walkway great day scott
Unfortunately, just because it costs less to make, doesn’t mean they will sell it for less. Heck, trucks today are overpriced already… drop the cost and they will simply keep the margins for themselves (remember, they’re in dire need of money these days).
As for the dumb “pussifying” of cars these days, I wholly agree. Too many idiots on the road think and expect the car to save them from their own stupidity. It’s time to put the driver back into driving. Hang up the cellphone, use your turn signals, look in front AND behind you, learn how to adjust your mirrors, and then hand over the keys.
Of course, this also necessitates driver training, which this country sorely lacks. Make it harder to get a license, and make people learn how to drive. THAT will reduce accidents and fatalities more than any electronic gizmo can.