6 Things You Can’t Do In A Car Anymore
By Eric Peters, Automotive Columnist
1) Burnouts
It is still possible to light up the tires, but there’s more involved than just stomping on the gas pedal.
First, you usually have to turn off the traction control — which exists to prevent you from doing burnouts. As soon as the tires begin to slip, the electronic brain instantly pumps the brakes, or backs off the power — or some combination of the two — in order to restrain you from partaking of antisocial activities.
In some late-model cars, it is impossible (or extremely difficult) to turn the traction control entirely off. You think you did, but pushing the button only partially disengages the system. Real burnouts — the fishtail sliding type — are not allowed. At least (in some cars) not before you go through a multi-step process of depressing/holding the button — after which — for a brief time only — the computer will permit you to spin the tires. But only just a little bit.
Then it re-sets and you have to ask permission all over again.
2) Smoking
You can’t do that anymore, either. At least, not if you don’t want to burn holes in the upholstery.
Most new cars don’t come with ashtrays. You have to pay extra to get them — if they’re even available — as part of a “smoker’s package.”
It’s another passive-aggressive manifestation of subtle behavior modification techniques, like those 85 MPH speedometers cars had for awhile in the early ’80s. If the speedo doesn’t read any higher than 85, you won’t be tempted to drive faster. Right? So, if there are no ashtrays in the car, maybe you’ll give up that filthy habit.
Meanwhile, the automakers are writhing to outdo each other in getting Internet in cars, so you can read e-mail and surf the web while driving. . .
Because that’s so much safer than smoking.
3) Rest your left arm on the top of the driver’s side door
New cars have very high doors. In some, you feel like you’re sitting in a really deep bathtub, which makes it impossible to rest your left arm on the top of the door with the window rolled down, like you could do Back in the Day.
Doors have grown taller to provide better protection against side-impact crashes. Federal regulators demand it; the insurance companies lobby for it. Whether we — the people who actually pay for the cars — necessarily want it is apparently beside the point. Just like air bags and so many other things we’re forced to buy. If we want a new car, anyhow.
4) Pick a custom steering wheel
For most of the history of the automobile, it was possible to either order a new car with one of several available factory custom steering wheels — or buy one on your own, afterward, and install it in your garage with basic hand tools. It was a fun — and fairly inexpensive — way to set your particular car apart from the crowd. And also for the automakers to differentiate one trim level from another within a given model series.
Typically, the nicer/top-of-the-line trim came with a different steering wheel that became the centerpiece of the interior. For instance, in a ’70s-era Pontiac Trans-Am, you got a racy-looking three-point/spoked “Formula” wheel with thick custom padding around the rim — vs. the standard car’s cheap-looking vinyl deal.
In a new car, all trims within a given model get exactly the same steering wheel (maybe embellished with different trim). There are no optional wheels to select from and it is not possible to swap out the factory wheel for an aftermarket unit.
Because of the air bag. When these things were first introduced in the ’70s, almost no one voluntarily bought them. So the government mandated them. And now we’re all stuck with them.
5) Parking brake bootleg turns
Recipe as follows: With the car tracking straight, yank on the parking brake lever to lock up the back wheels as you simultaneously crank the wheel hard left or right (depending on which direction you want to go). The back end of the car will swing around, enabling you to make an abrupt 90 degree turn. Release the brake as the car turns, punch it — and go! (You can also use this technique to execute a complete 180 degree turn.)
Except you can’t — not in a new car, anyhow.
In almost all the new cars I have test driven recently, the parking brake is factory adjusted to barely have enough holding power to keep the car in place when it is parked.
It is insufficient to lock up the rear wheels suddenly, essential to a properly executed bootleg turn. There is also usually a super-annoying claxon (along with flashing warning light) that goes ballistic the second you begin to raise the brake lever, if the car is moving. Danger! Safety! What about the Children!
Possibly, you can tighten up the adjustment so that the brake comes on hard and fast when you need it. And certainly, you can ferret out the buzzer under the dash and smash the little monster to pieces with a ball-peen hammer.
But you shouldn’t have to do either, right?
6) Fine-tune the radio station
Years and years ago, cars had dial-type radios. The reception was crappy, but it was possible to find and keep on listening to a weak station for longer by making fine adjustments to the dial.
In a modern car with a digital-seek radio, this is often impossible. The radio will just skip over any station that’s not putting out a strong enough signal. You’re forced to listen to only the stations that the radio will let you listen to.
The other thing that’s gone forever — and maybe it’s not a bad thing — is the modular, one-size-fits-all stereo.
Most older-than-1980s-era cars, no matter the make or model, came with your standard rectangular slot — into which you could fairly easily swap in an aftermarket unit. This you almost had to do because most factory stereos sucked. The downside was that putting in a nice aftermarket stereo was an invitation to smash n’ grab thieves.
Today, factory stereos are very good; and they’re typically specific to that specific car — which is a deterrent to thieves, since the unit is useless outside of the car it came in.
But it was kind of fun spending a few hours on a Saturday afternoon installing a new high-powered custom stereo.
Like multiple ashtrays and three-across bench seats, that’s something that’s probably gone forever.
Comments?
www.ericpetersautos.com
And integrated controls are bad , are you kidding ???? don't get that one , what are you driving where your HVAC controls interfere with your radio operation ……….Germans & Asian and now so called domestic "junk" in fact pretty much all models sold today have been using this setup for years without issue . Everything in the car is controlled with/by the ECU so combining controls on the same unit just makes sense …
This article must have been a sign of how bored the writers were today , pretty useless as a topic .
For being an article you see as signifying boredom, it sure drew a hell of a lot of words out of you…
Integrated controls aren't *bad*, per se, but if the radio sucks, and the climate controls are part of the same unit, yes, that definitely sucks. I want what I want in my car. I buy the motor, ride, effeciency of a car, things specific to that model; a radio I should be able to swap out if I wish. True, most late model cars don't have radios in need of replacement, but enough do and it annoys me.
And AM is only used for/by right wing nuts that are afraid the government is coming to shoot them in their home , LOL ……European , Asian and now (so called) domestic car makers see no use to put any effort into AM reception so most car radios are useless when trying to tune AM . The same ignorant blowhards that proclaimed during the health care debate "Keep your government hands off of my Medicare" :~ | are usually the one's looking to use their car's AM receiver … So who cares if AM works or not and who really needs AM anyway , not me . In right wing nut filled parts of the US the FM stations are now used to promote right wing propaganda so AM is really not needed by anyone any longer . So now FM is becoming the wasteland that AM has been for years . So If you want tunes use /plug in your I-pod or pay for your SAT radio , they work all the time where ever you are ……..rock on dudes and dudetts ………….
It seems pretty clear from your post that you haven't spent any meaningful amount of time on AM radio LOL. LOL, are you a grown up, really? I have no trouble tuning in local AM during the day time, and stations a thousand miles away after dark. If I want to hear music, I listen to things I bring into the car with me. If I want to hear news or talk, I turn on the radio. Both don't cost me anything. Satellite radio, to me, is a waste of time. And AM in car radios isn't going anywhere, since AM has huge amounts of listeners. Why does that bother you so desperately?
I own two late model cars , 05 & 07 Asian models and you can still tune one frequency at a time in either to pick up weaker radio stations . And all the FM stations are weaker today due to change in how signals are sent out today . The re-enforcing signals on the even frequencies next to primary frequency that all FM stations use that all had a couple of years ago are now gone and used for digital transmissions . So FM reception is weak and non-existant in many places today .
Being someone that was forced to breath second hand smoke in a car as a kid I believe anyone that smokes in a car with a passenger should locked up for abuse/assault of another human being !!!!!! And anyone stupid and careless enough to smoke around a child should have their child removed from their custody due to life long illnesses their bad addiction will have on them .
Opening the window doesn't do away with the offensive & deadly to others smoke . All that does is make everyone else in the car cold or hot while killing them with your smoke >>>>>>>>>>>>
Frankly, it's none of anyone's damn business what I do in my car, if I smoke or not. If I were a smoker and I'm not smoking — and incidentally, I am not a smoker — then it is because I am being courteous to my passengers; if I were to smoke with no one in the car is none of yours or anyone else's damn business either. No one has any place giving me orders.
Your juvenile misuse of punctuation (!!!!!!!, >>>>>>>>>>>>) irritates and offends me, but I'm not expecting you to stop doing it.
Life would get a lot easier for everyone if we learned how to leave one another the hell alone, and stop mandating things in cars that we do not wish to pay for.
You drive your Asian cars with your one-piece radio/climate control setup, and continue to abuse exclamation points, misspell simple words, and drawing silly pictures in your text, and I'll drive my 13-year old car with the radio I WANTED in it, listen to AM radio when I want and the music I like as opposed to that chosen my record companies and DJs, and I'll carry on getting better mileage than just about any hybrid on the road today and focusing my efforts on sites like this to write like an adult.
LOL!
Actually my VW diesels that have no trouble achieving mid 50s mpgs in everyday driving will blow any of the hybrids mileage or in nfun to drive right out of the water ..
And if you wish to kill yourself , just yourself with tobacco have at it . But your right to do so ends when that smoke reaches my lungs . The assumption that just cracking a window in a car while smoking does anything to mitigate the deadly & offensive smoke is offensive to me .
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1 – Burnouts have been discouraged for a lot longer than there have been such traction controls. Front drive with underpowered engines made it much harder starting with the early 80s.
2 – Since if you smoke with the windows tightly closed, you're nuts, a cracked window was the perfect place to ash as you drove, particularly if you smoked left-handed. No problem! The ash tray was where my cigarette pack went.
4 – We're stuck with a lot of crap we didn't want in our cars, but were mandated by the federal government. No, the commerce clause does not justify any such thing.
5 – It's easier to clip the wires for idiotic noisemakers like that. But then again, I can't get a vehicle with the features I want. Ideally, at this point, I'd like to get a car about the size of a 1990-95 Buick Century wagon, with say a 3.4 or 3.8 L V-6, a five or six speed manual trans, and REAR drive. I'm not sure such a beast ever existed, and surely not now.
6 – Actually, into the 80s and 90s was a good time to swap out radios. They had that fairly uniform rectangular hole that almost any aftermarket radio would fit into, and if not, you could get mounting brackets. Prior to that, radios were mounted sideways, or had knob holes in odd configurations, so replacing the radio would often require you to cut the dashboard. This is one thing that's improved — it's usually no longer necessary to have to replace your radio any longer.
#2 – Agreed. Smoking is hardly curbed by lack of ashtrays. The bigger problem is that most smokers simply dump their ash and cigarettes out the window. That really pisses me off, particularly when I have to dodge it when I'm on a motorcycle.
Still, many cars do have some sort of ashtray (I know my smoker-less Subaru does, as does my wife's Mazda 3). So, if there is an ashtray, why can't people use it!? More importantly, if you want to smoke… go ahead… but don't dump it on me because you can't break your habit. I have no problem with smokers… you can do what you want. I have a problem when it affects others (littering, flaming butts at me/my car, etc).
#5 – My Subaru Legacy GT can do bootlegs if required. No buzzer, either. It does make a weird clunk on first engagement, though… not sure what that is, but I figure I shouldn't do it anymore anyway :)
#6 – Factory radios suck. Period. I yearn for the days of the "one-size-fits-all" radio, so I can at least replace the crap I am given. I'll admit factory radios are much better, but they aren't that good compared to aftermarket. Maybe Eric is talking about a high-end, $1k+ optional radio or something… those are decent, particularly in high end vehicles. But they can still be easily beaten by decent aftermarket setups.
This is where my car really pisses me off. They decided to incorporate the HVAC with the radio. For what purpose?! There's no reason to do it, but they did it… so I cannot (at reasonable cost) replace my radio without losing HVAC!? Who's brilliant idea was this? What's more, the Japanese version of the car has no such crap in it… you CAN divorce those units easily… WTF?
#2 You've got a good point, butts or other debris flying at you while you're on a motorcycle or in a car is unpleasant. If you don't wish to use your ash tray, or you don't have one, keep an empty drink bottle you got at the gas station in your car for that purpose!
7. Have the seat belt hold you firmly in one place for better control of the car. I still regard this as the seat belt's primary job, but it now seems to be illegal to install one that does it.